I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
