2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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