someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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