It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
