We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I love you. Go after that dick
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
