Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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