just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
