i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
