Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
