Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
