Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
