Three words: puerto rican gang bang
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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