sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
