Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
