I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
