I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
