just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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