Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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