So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
