life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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