Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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