my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
where are my eyebrows?
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