i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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