Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
