the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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