Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Are we still banned from the library?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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