Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
