I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
