Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
being pregnant is like rehab
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
