Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
