she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How does one acquire holy water?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
