C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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