I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
