found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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