Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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