the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
