Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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