Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
