i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
