no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He shit in the fireplace
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
