accomplished twins. life is a go
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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