Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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