I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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