If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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