You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
