There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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