The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
