What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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