I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
