Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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