just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
