I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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