is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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