I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
