i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
