guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
