Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
